Insane Clowns
by I Will Go Down With My OTP
Summary: Ms. Williams has her hands full with the class clown couple. spin off of Kryptonite
1. Chapter 1

**Insane Clowns**

Tatiana Williams had never seen such crazy kids as Dan Cahill and Lyra Blackwell. Ms. Williams had been teaching at Attleboro Middle School grade 8 for 9 years and never had she had to tell two students to stop holding hands in class. Ever ,at all.

"Ms. Blackwell , you can be moved or your hand can move back to the paper in front of you." She said. Lyra's hand shot to her paper and began working and writing. The same happened in computers, science and even English, which was Lyra's best class. She couldn't pay attention whilst Dan was in the vicinity. She just couldn't. In Music she heard

"Ms. Williams?" She turned to have an elastic band whack her right between the eyes. Dan was laughing like a fool and Lyra leaned on him for support. They high-fived, then locked fingers and dropped their entwined hands. Lyra smiled and winked at him.

"Office Mr. and Mrs. Cahill. I mean Mr. Cahill and Ms. Blackwell." They left, hands still entwined, for the office. She handed out an assignment and poked her head out of her classroom. Another strike for Public display of affection. Making out in front of the office.

"Ahem!" she cleared her throat. The two separated and Lyra began cleaning her fingernails. Dan began twiddling his thumbs. His eyes lingered over to Lyra. He smiled to himself. Ms. Williams rolled her eyes. Why couldn't Dan be like his sister , Amy? Docile, quiet, never got into trouble. No. Dan had to be wild and crazy. And Lyra! How many times had she shown up late wearing that annoying hat? Too many. The principal, Mr. Wright , would deal with them. Harshly. She heard later they were suspended.


	2. Kiss and Tell

**Insane Clowns**

Once the two troublemakers returned, Ms. William's problem doubled. Lyra was louder, as was her partner. Dan shot another elastic band at her. Lyra was singing loudly out of tune, on purpose. Ms. Williams actually screamed in class. Lyra smiled insensitively. Dan laughed like a fool. Ms. Williams almost cried. She sent then to the office. Another suspension.

-Next day-

Dan and Lyra were plotting revenge on Ms. Williams. Dan wanted to use spit balls. Lyra wanted to pretend they couldn't hear her. They decided to combine their plans into one. Oh man ms. Williams wouldn't know what hit her.

-Dance class-

What was supposed to be The Macarena , turned into the rub. Well it was more of an overly close mambo but still. Ms. Williams sat down and cried. Her students switched the cd's and wouldn't listen. Dan and Lyra were behind this, of course. They seemed to be having the most fun. Dan pulled Lyra close to him.

"EVERYONE SIT DOWN…..NOW!" Ms. Williams hollered. Dan and Lyra stopped and looked for a second. Then started again. Dan slowly dipped his partner and brought her up again, amusing himself by her hair flying everywhere. Then he touched the back of her neck and kissed her. Long and hard. Lyra complied, by kissing back. She seemed to be taking control, but Dan wasn't gonna let her win. So easily. A fierce competition for dominance ensued. Ms. Williams fell to her knee's and cried. Eventually Lyra won this competition, leaving Dan breathless. They were once again, sent to the office and suspended . Ms. Williams decided to take a couple weeks off. Lot of good that did.


	3. TP

**Insane Clowns**

Dan stood with Lyra outside Ms. Williams house. She smiled. Ms . Williams would probably quit her job after this.

-The next morning-

Tatiana Williams woke up to what she thought would be a Dan and Lyra free morning. She noticed a roll of toilet paper on her bed. It said

Look Outside, Ms. Williams .

She did, but regretted it soon after. SUCKER was written across her front yard in toilet paper. And her house was covered in it. Ms. Williams wiped tears from her eyes. Then , in her windowsill she read this:

DON'T MESS WITH CAHILL'S.

The day after Ms. Williams returned to school, Dan and Lyra returned also. Ms. Williams paid no attention to them, though.

That is until one Thursday morning when she walked into her classroom.


	4. QA

**Insane Clowns**

Ms. Williams screamed when she entered her class that Thursday morning. Never had anyone glued everything in her room, to the ceiling.(I bet you were thinking something else was going on, right?) Dan sat on the floor, cuddling with Lyra. Ms. Williams ran out of the room, screaming. They didn't have class that day.

-during ' crazy hours-

"Dan, do I ever cross your mind?"

"No. You're always on my mind."

"Do you like me?"

"No. I love you."

"Do you want me?"

"No. I need you."

"Would you cry if I left?"

"No. I would die if you left."

"Would you live for me?"

"No. I would die for you."

"Would you do anything for me?"

"No. I would do everything for you."

"Choose-me or your life"

"My life"

"Why?"

"Because you ARE my life." Dan explained. Lyra smiled. "God you have a gorgeous smile" he told her. She blushed.


	5. Dan's Iguana

**Insane Clowns**

That night when Tatiana Williams slipped into the bubble bath, she thought she was in for a relaxing journey. Ha. Dan and Lyra had caused the opposite effect. Ms. Williams found herself running around the house in a towel, screaming about an iguana in the bathtub. _Dan's Iguana._ Whom, at the moment, was doubled over in a fit of laughter. Lyra, the same. Ms. Williams ran to the window.

"DANIEL CAHILL PLEASE REMOVE YOUR IGUANA FROM MY BATHTUB!" She yelled. They were laughing like idiots now. _Any more of this and I'm quitting my job. _

"I think Ms. Williams just quit her job" Lyra sang.

"NOT YET!" Ms. Williams yelled.

-The next day-

Last night's endeavour left Ms. Williams no choice. She asked to teach a younger grade. And was denied.

"NOOOOO!"she was crying. She was clearly certifiably insane.


	6. The End?

**Insane Clowns**

Dan smiled to himself. Lyra was so mischievous. Gluing Ms. Williams desk drawers into the desk itself was certifiably genius. His was dating the queen of mischief and Amy was ok with it. BONUS! Lyra had even drew a very realistic pencil on Ms. Williams desk. To see if she'd pick it up. Lyra and Dan went to their seats and entered the classroom.

"Not you two!" She yelled. Lyra and Dan smiled innocently. Ms. Williams cringed. She crept to her desk. It was glued shut.

"I'm writing up a report" she said. She reached for the drawn pencil. And grabbed paper. Lyra laughed. Dan did too. sat on her chair. And it broke. Lyra had. "Borrowed" the screws. cried on the floor. She was having a breakdown. And Dan & Lyra were laughing like fools.

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"


	7. Nope, but youre more Trouble

**Insane Clowns**

sighed. _Tomorrow_ she would quit. _Today_, Dan and Lyra would learn. As her class entered the room , she spotted her troublemakers.

"Dan, Lyra not beside each other. Dan front, Lyra back." She'd split them up. Maybe that would help? Nope. They were worse than ever. More elastics, flying pencils and notes than ever. She read the last one out loud.

"_get to the mushy part. She's getting boring._

_Every time we kiss I fall in love with you all over again. _

_Aww. That doesn't make me want to hurl. _

_You're too cute, Dan"_ Nobody did anything. Lyra stood up.

"I HATE YOU!" She ran out, embarrassed. Dan looked at Ms. Williams.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He yelled. He went to comfort Lyra. Ms. Williams realized she may have gone too far. And landed herself in deeper trouble.


	8. Chapter 8

**Insane Clowns**

Ms. Williams had been suspended. Apparently making even evil children cry and then having that student's boyfriend swear at you is not in the job description of being a teacher. Dan and Lyra, however, were not quite finished with her. This time, it was personal. Dan was pacing, thinking of a rotten way to show Ms. Williams who she was dealing with, show her she underestimated just who she was fooling with. You don't mess with Cahills and get away with it. Suddenly, the plan came together in his mind. It involved a crank love letter, tears and finally the morale: When you screw with one Cahill, you screw with them all. Lyra laid down on the bed. She would never be able to show her face around school again. This kind of embarrassment is the kind you never live down. Dan's attention turned to the extremely embarrassed girl on his bed. He flopped down beside her. He wrapped her hand in his hand and smiled at her. It wasn't really a happy smile. It was more of a reassuring smile. He couldn't tell her it was gonna be ok. It probably wouldn't be ok. He put her head on his shoulder. He sighed.


	9. Fight

**Insane Clowns a 39 Clues Fan Fiction Story**

Dan woke up the next morning, devising a plan. Lyra lay cuddled up beside him. Having bawled her eyes out the night before, Dan was going to tell the school she had a 24 hour virus. But that was it. Nothing else. She needed her education. They all did. Especially her. She'd missed so much school she was close to failing. He would not survive freshman year without her. He'd kill someone. He got up and made breakfast.

Dan stood at his girlfriends bedroom door. He smiled . Lyra was so beautiful when she was sleeping. He couldn't believe it had been 3 years since he admitted his feelings to her. They said 11 was too young be in love. 12 was too young to touch. Now they had to put up with the current rumour going around. Someone had told someone him and Lyra were ... sleeping together. Like not the zzzzzzzzzzz sleeping. On occasion she would slip in with him, but pants and shirts stayed on. Well her shirt anyway. Not saying he wouldn't if he could. But it takes two to tango. Lyra would need to be into it, but if she wasn't , he'd wait for her. The light locked girl laying in her bed continued to amaze him. After choosing him(Dan) over Ian-Chaching-Kabra, he knew he loved only her, wanted only her, needed only her. He kissed her golden locks. She rolled over and smiled up at him.

"Good morning" she mumbled. He smiled back and slid in beside her.

"It's Saturday. Go to sleep babe" he said. She shut her eyes as she laid her head on his chest.

"We have a math test tomorrow."

"You're my walking Viagra yet you're such a nerd" he sighed.

"At least I'm not a dorkanoid like Amy. Or a doorknob like Evan"

"He's not a doorknob"

"The man irons his jeans Dan . Plus he's obsessed with me."

"He's WHAT!" Dan was on his feet.

"He text me yesterday and asked me to kiss him and I was like no way ,knob"

"He's dog meat" Dan yelled, causing Lyra to flinch.

"Dan, don't. Stay. Deal with it later". He turned to her, kissed her and said

"This'll only take a minute Babe". Lyra was dead silent. Dan was roaring.

"So help me God if you put your key pushing hands on my Lyra, I'll kill you." he(Dan) punched the older, taller boy.

"I just wanted to show her a real man."

"Real men don't ask to kiss a younger guys girl." Dan asserted. Evan mumbled something and left. Dan returned, expecting to see Lyra asleep but she was waiting. "I hate to sound possessive but I want you to remind the others that you're mine. I love you Lyra and I don't wanna lose you." He touched her face, cupping her jaw line affectionately.

"I love you too Dan." He crawled back in beside her and laid her blonde head on his chest

-A Couple Hours Later-

She was doing it again; bipolar had gotten the best of her, yet again. Dan hated to see her in so much pain; He wouldn't even wish it on Cobra. She was curled up on the floor sobbing hysterically and screaming for her mother. Now he don't know that much about Lyra's family, but he was pretty sure that most of them were dead.

"Lyra, it's okay. No one's going to hurt you." He tried to calm her down, he did know that she probably wasn't listening to him; but after she takes her meds, she thanked him for the effort. As predicted, she kept crying; she kept yelling.

He tried to reach her arm to hold them down, but only ended up getting whacked in the face. He could hear her apologies in the back of his mind, but he guessed he should've known better. Amy stayed near the door and she reminded him that Lyra needed space when she was like this.

Sometimes loving her is like wanting a kiss and getting bit.

Occasionally he wished that she'd learn to control herself, but he know that she couldn't. All he could do was stand and watch her; and it killed him to watch someone he loved be in so much pain.

-Three hours later-

She was still there.

Dan exhaled.

He turned to Amy, "I don't care if I get punched in the face, she needs her pills. Now." He told her. Amy said nothing, just nodded. He moved further into the kitchen and passed by Lyra lying on the floor. He retrieved the pills and immediately dropped them when he looked closer at Lyra.

"Not again, Lyra!" She'd gone and cut herself again. Somehow both Amy and Dan missed her picking up the knife. She'd carved "FREAK" into her arm.

He know that she had only started doing this just recently. It started about two weeks ago, after a particularly bad nightmare. But in the past she would have screamed by now and he would have caught her. Unfortunately today was different. Lyra looked at him.

"Take a hike!" she yelled. He bent over and picked up the pill bottle again; He popped it open and dropped two pills into his hand. He handed them to her, and made her take them.

When she came to her senses she hid her head between her knees. Now she was embarrassed.

"I'm sorry Dan. I'm sorry." She choked out. Amy walked in and turned white. He remembered Amy fainted at the sight of blood and when there's a bloodied up knife on the ground and there's a pool of blood on the floor, she was three seconds away from nighty-night. Lyra seemed a bit paler too. Sometimes he thought his girlfriend's a bit too perfect, complete with a messed up past to make you pity her. Then she takes her meds. Amy came out, and sat next to Lyra.

"Lyra, I get that you have issues. We all do. But you're becoming a danger to yourself, maybe others-"

"Amy, we didn't agree-"

"Dan, she's fucking crazy and you know it!" Amy snapped.

"Amy! No! I won't let you hurt her!" Dan yelled.

"She's cutting herself! I'm not hurting her, she's hurting herself."

"Stop it! Both of you!" Lyra cut in. Dan slid his arm around her.

"Baby, I can't live without you." Lyra leaned back, slipping in and out of consciousness. He smiled to himself. She was just adorable when she was tired. He held back a giggle. Amy sighed to herself.


	10. Finito

**Insane Clowns**

Lyra decided to put her Bipolar to good use. She didn't take her pills that morning and went to school. When she got into class, Ms. Williams was ignoring her.

"Hello!" Lyra yelled. Nothing. Lyra suddenly jumped on the desk.

"Lyra, get off the desk or you will write a 2 thousand word essay on human behavior!"

"2 thousand? Do I hear 3 thousand? 3 Thousand going once"

"4 Thousand!" Dan said.

"4 Thousand! Do I hear 5 thousand?

"6 Thousand! Now take your seat Ms. Blackwell!" Ms. Williams yelled. Lyra bent down, and bit down on her apple. "Put that down!" Lyra pitched the apple across the room. Dan picked up the yard stick and swung it like a baseball bat, firing the apple at the chalkboard. "That's it, I'm calling your guardian!" Lyra snipped the phone line. "TAKE YOUR SEAT!" Lyra hopped across the desks to her seat and sat down.

"That's my girl." Dan said. Ms. Williams didn't want it to come to this. Her students were in open rebellion. She stood up and screamed

"QUIET!" Her students stared at her. She started laughing. Lyra grabbed the stereo and put her cd. Ms. Williams just gave up. It was One More Night Maroon 5. Lyra started randomly dancing. Dam decided to join her and soon the whole class had joined in. Ms. Williams Grabbed her desk. She was finished. "I QUIT!" She slammed the door. Dan and Lyra smiled at eachother.

"Mission complete, baby." He whispered.

-Fin-


End file.
